I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
