For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
