omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
