I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
