He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
