..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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