Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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