She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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