I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
