I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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