why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
