do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
