Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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