You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
