i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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