Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
