the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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