Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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