your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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