I just saw a hot homeless man
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
