bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
