So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
