so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
