dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
