your thong is hanging out like whoa
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
A+ Viking dick
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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