How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
