U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
