i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
