I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
