He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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