Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
