'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
