Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Update, blind date is cute and fun.

(248): View more from Michigan

Scratch that, blind date just threw up.

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(516): View more from New York

Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.

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(316): View more from Kansas

I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.

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(513): View more from Ohio

She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You may now shotgun with the bride

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!

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