I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
