Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
