plz talk dirty to me
we have officially lost it.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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