I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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