I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
