I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
