I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We're using joints as your birthday candles
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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