Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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