Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
