Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
