He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
