so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
