I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
