just tell him i said nine months
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
