how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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