In the future we'll all be gay
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
