I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
