Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
