So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
