It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
