Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
