It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
