my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Reggie can tackle my bush.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
