They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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