im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
