You can't special order awesome
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Randomize
