Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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