Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
