So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
