I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
50% drunk capacity currently
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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