At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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