OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
