I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
