Three words: puerto rican gang bang
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
