Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
